W.A.L.T.... use show not tell.
In Writing, our task was to create a paragraph about times we have or would experience different types of feelings using show and not tell. Can you guess what my feelings are ?
I enjoyed writing about show not tell because it makes the reader think about what you are writing about. What I found hard was to make sure I wasn't telling the reader about what I'm implying to. Maybe next time, I'd use some figurative language.
As I walked passed the gates, sweat dripped through my new blazer, frustration was gliding itself through my body. My heart thumped so hard, my head thumped twice as fast. I had been waiting for this moment since year 7 but now I’m wanting to go back. Just as I took a glimpse of the new building, I saw friends from school. Sweat became tears of joy, frustration lowered and happiness had appeared and my heart had gone back to beating normal.
Hi Hingano,
ReplyDeleteI like this piece of writing because you have used show not tell very well. My favourite part was 'As I walked passed the gates, sweat dripped through my new blazer' to me you are implying that you are nervous and the end sentence tell me that you are happy. something that you could work on is trying not to tell us that you are frustrated and how you said happiness had appeared, because really you are telling that you are happy and frustrated so yeah that is something you could work on. But over all keep up the great work and can't wait for your next blog post.